In verses 12-14, Paul urges the believing marriage
partner to do all he or she can to preserve the marriage.
The believing partner and the children of this mixed
marriage are not defiled by the presence of the unbeliever.
To the contrary, the unbelieving partner and the children of
the union are “sanctified” by the presence of the believing
partner.
Just what does Paul mean by the term “sanctified”? This is a
matter of considerable discussion. Paul is not teaching that
the unsaved partner is somehow saved by the faith of the
other. Some go to considerable lengths to find scriptural
grounds for infant baptism, a most difficult feat. Paul
implies that there are spiritual benefits for the one who
chooses to remain married to a believing partner, even
though this person is unsaved.
If marriage to an unbeliever in some way defiles the
believing mate, it must also defile the children of that
union. However, since the unbeliever is blessed in the
believer, the children are also blessed. Remaining married
to an unbeliever has no negative consequences for the
believing partner or the children, but there are distinct
advantages for the unbeliever. There is, therefore, no good
reason for the believer to seek to dissolve the marriage.
All of this, however, is contingent on the desire of the
unbeliever to remain married (vv 12-13). What is the
Christian partner to do if the unbeliever wishes to
terminate the marriage? Verses 15 and 16 answer this
question. If your unbelieving mate is willing to live with
you, do not in any way attempt to terminate the marriage.
There is benefit for all if he or she remains. However, if
he or she is determined to depart, do not create a situation
of strife and turmoil, for this kind of setting is not that
which enhances your witness.
We must never forget the importance of marriage, God
ordained the institution of marriage, and He did so as a
permanent union of a man and a woman, a union that no one
should separate.
There is another reason why marriage is so important.
Marriage is a symbol of something much greater. The way
Christians conduct themselves in marriage is a picture to
the world of the relationship of Christ and His church. For
one to forsake his or her mate is to portray a false message
of Christ’s faithfulness to His bride, and the faithfulness
of the bride to Christ.
A marriage that merely exists, but which lacks the love,
intimacy, and joy of a godly marriage, is an offense to the
One who first instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden.
There are all too many marriages like this, both outside and
inside the church. The marriage may be legally intact, but
the relationship is virtually dead. Our Lord intended
Christian marriage to reflect the love and intimate
relationship that exists between Jesus Christ and His bride,
the church, the body of all true believers. When a marriage
is dead or dying, it reflects badly on our Lord and His
relationship with His church. This is a serious offense.
Do not take for granted that your marriage is as healthy as
you think. Many of those with whom I have dealt in this ugly
matter of divorce did not realize the desperate condition of
their marriage, until it was too late. How is your
communication with your mate? Are you able to talk
frequently and openly with your spouse about deeply personal
matters? On the other hand, is your conversation just over
routine things? Complacency and taking the other for granted
is lethal to a marriage. Do not assume that your marriage is
going as well as you would like to think.
There are undoubtedly those who may read this message who
have already gone through divorce. You must know that God
hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and you should know as well
that our Lord permits divorce in very restricted
circumstances. Neither our Lord nor Paul ever encourages
anyone to divorce. It may be that your divorce was
unbiblical. The good news is that God forgives sinners.
Paul reminded the Corinthians, “The unrighteous shall not
inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither
fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate,
nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor
drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the
kingdom of God. And such were some of you; but you were
washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in
the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our
God (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
For those who have sinned as unbelievers, the cross of
Christ makes us new creatures, with a bright future and a
forgiven past, “Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a
new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things
have come (2 Corinthians 5:17).
